Rebirth

(photo credit courtesy of http://www.anarticleofart.com/)

This morning, I was awakened by daylight pouring through my open window. I attempted to shield my eyes from it, but the warmth of the sun caressed my face and roused me from sleep. Stubbornly, I peered through the slits of my eyes and was met with the sight of my bedroom enveloped in a warm amber glow. Hints of springtime tip-toed into my window.

The smell of spring kissed my nose and eyelids. As I slowly allowed oxygen to enter my nostrils and invade my lungs, I was met with the aroma of freshly cut grass and fragrant flowers. The scent tickled me and began coaxing me out of my grogginess. A soft and lazy breeze sauntered through the blinds and playfully brushed against my bare shoulders. It felt familiar. . .as though Zephyr and I were old lovers. . .coyly playing a game of hide and seek. My ears observed the beautiful music of people and animals offering melodious banter while engaging in their respective daily activities. The aura of my surroundings felt soothing and reassuring. Spring had found its way into my immediate space and I was slowly encapsulated by it. I began to stretch and embrace the newness of a day that whispered promises of endless possibilities.

As I began to visualize the day that lay ahead of me, I found myself reflecting over the past few months. I began to wince sorrowfully as I welcomed the familiar sense of dread to take over me. I slowly, but willingly, submitted to grief, an intimate acquaintance with whom I shared a deep companionship. As I closed my eyes and prepared for the first set of tears to fall, I felt my senses become overwhelmingly aroused. I began to undergo a heightened state of awareness unlike anything I had ever experienced before. My spirit reverberated with a steady buzz that began in my chest and slowly infused all of my extremities. I closed my eyes and exhaled. . . .and felt myself drift out of my physical body. . . .

I ascended into a time and space not meant for earthly beings. . . .a realm carved out by a higher power that allowed me to metamorphose into an ethereal disposition unknown to man. My soul transitioned through several phases and dimensions. . .

cleansing. . .renewal. . .purification. . .restoration. . .

I was rigorously purged of all impurities that had plagued and weakened my spirit. Poured into my heart were

love. . .hope. . . resolve. . . .forgiveness. . .

My soul. . . .bruised, but not broken. . .was regaining the strength once stolen from it. My mind became clearer and unadulterated.

My spirit, now stripped of all disappointment. . .heartache. . .anguish. . .resentment, transcended back into my body.

As I opened my eyes and inhaled, my body began to convulse as it was weaned off of the negativity that had nourished it for so long. With each breath, I was exhumed. . .and became increasingly replenished. . . When the transformation had reached completion, I began to softly weep. . . .as my mind, body, and spirit were bathed in a tranquility only known to those who have been delivered.

Good MOURNING Heartache

Throughout the evening, I watched you from across the room. . .as you effortlessly moved throughout the crowd. . . charming all those who you came in contact with. The dim lighting blanketed you in a soft glow that I imagine is not unlike that of heavenly beings. I heard you laugh. . .and as you told jokes of yesterdays and good times. . . I was reminded of the intimacy that was once shared by the two of us. On the opposite side of the room, I attempted to entertain the friends that occupied my physical space. . .I pretended to be deeply engaged in the meaningless banter that was meant to be one of fellowship. . .yet I found myself distressed that I was not on the receiving end of the beautiful music that I had once come to know as your voice. I took a long, slow sip of the champagne in my glass. Cringing at the taste, I prayed for the magic liquid to calm the anxious spirits within me.

In the midst of this gathering. . .full of faces from the past and reminiscent conversation. . . filled with the aura of familiarity, friendship, and comfort. . .I wondered. . .if in the time since we last spoke. . .if you had ever thought about us. . . Had I ever visited your late night dreams the way you always seemed to follow me into mine? Had you missed the sound of my voice being the last that you heard before we drifted off to sleep? Had you ever longed for a message from me to find its way into your phone or email? As thoughts of you and the life we once shared continued to whirlwind in my mind like a flashback in a movie. . .I drowned out my immediate surroundings and became lost in my own daydream. I immersed myself in the images of how beautiful you used to look as you slept so peacefully at night. I became engulfed in phantom kisses. . .your sweet, gentle kisses. . .finding their way to my lips. I inhaled the memories of your scent and allowed them to permeate the core of my being as I slowly exhaled my revived passion for you.

As I awakened from my daze, I noticed that you had now been joined by a woman. Your body language suggested that she was your girlfriend. . .maybe even your wife. The two of you began to walk towards the door. . .and for a moment. . .I held my breath. . .hoping. . .wishing. . .that you would see me. . .so that I could share a final private moment with you. But reality wasn't as kind as my daydreams. . .and as I watched the two of you leave the ballroom. . .a piece of me left with you.

And now as I awaken to a new day. . .entangled in bed sheets. . .providing evidence of my restless slumber. . .I listen to the sound of rain against my window. And I wonder if somewhere . . .you are lying in your bed listening to the sound of the rain too. . .thinking about me. . .the way I’m thinking about you. . .holding on to the fantasy that one day. . .we will find our way back to each other again. . .