Good MOURNING Heartache

Throughout the evening, I watched you from across the room. . .as you effortlessly moved throughout the crowd. . . charming all those who you came in contact with. The dim lighting blanketed you in a soft glow that I imagine is not unlike that of heavenly beings. I heard you laugh. . .and as you told jokes of yesterdays and good times. . . I was reminded of the intimacy that was once shared by the two of us. On the opposite side of the room, I attempted to entertain the friends that occupied my physical space. . .I pretended to be deeply engaged in the meaningless banter that was meant to be one of fellowship. . .yet I found myself distressed that I was not on the receiving end of the beautiful music that I had once come to know as your voice. I took a long, slow sip of the champagne in my glass. Cringing at the taste, I prayed for the magic liquid to calm the anxious spirits within me.

In the midst of this gathering. . .full of faces from the past and reminiscent conversation. . . filled with the aura of familiarity, friendship, and comfort. . .I wondered. . .if in the time since we last spoke. . .if you had ever thought about us. . . Had I ever visited your late night dreams the way you always seemed to follow me into mine? Had you missed the sound of my voice being the last that you heard before we drifted off to sleep? Had you ever longed for a message from me to find its way into your phone or email? As thoughts of you and the life we once shared continued to whirlwind in my mind like a flashback in a movie. . .I drowned out my immediate surroundings and became lost in my own daydream. I immersed myself in the images of how beautiful you used to look as you slept so peacefully at night. I became engulfed in phantom kisses. . .your sweet, gentle kisses. . .finding their way to my lips. I inhaled the memories of your scent and allowed them to permeate the core of my being as I slowly exhaled my revived passion for you.

As I awakened from my daze, I noticed that you had now been joined by a woman. Your body language suggested that she was your girlfriend. . .maybe even your wife. The two of you began to walk towards the door. . .and for a moment. . .I held my breath. . .hoping. . .wishing. . .that you would see me. . .so that I could share a final private moment with you. But reality wasn't as kind as my daydreams. . .and as I watched the two of you leave the ballroom. . .a piece of me left with you.

And now as I awaken to a new day. . .entangled in bed sheets. . .providing evidence of my restless slumber. . .I listen to the sound of rain against my window. And I wonder if somewhere . . .you are lying in your bed listening to the sound of the rain too. . .thinking about me. . .the way I’m thinking about you. . .holding on to the fantasy that one day. . .we will find our way back to each other again. . .